Libertarians give me the heebie-jeebies
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July 17, 2008 Got my copy of Reason magazine yesterday. This month, they rate the top 35 "nanny state" cities. The criteria, as you might guess, are the whole laundry list of Libertarian gripes and bitches, such as gun laws, gambling laws, liquor laws, prostitution laws, motor vehicle laws, fast food laws, you know, the stuff that makes for a civilized society and a city where one can safely walk the streets (or drive one's car) at night.
Libertarians are a funny bunch; for whatever reason, they sincerely believe that the same level of government regulation that exists in West Buttfuck, Montana (population 3) is just perfectly fine and good in, say, New York City. Can you imagine what mayhem might ensue in the Big Apple if the city council suddenly decided to swap ordinance codes with the number one favorite Libertarian city, Las Vegas, Nevada, where you can drink vodka tonics in plastic cups on the street, find a hooker in just about any price range, and gamble away your mortgage payment without any interference at all, or the number two city, Miami, Florida, where one can apparently buy firearms at the Piggly Wiggly, conceal carry them by purchasing a permit available at any 7-11 with the purchase of ten gallons of gas, and shoot beer cans with them on the beach, or even the number four city, Louisville, Kentucky, which, owing to the influence of Big Tobacco and Big Whiskey, one can enjoy an astounding level of tolerance of both of these as well as a very liberal interpretation of the Second Amendment. Is Snake Plisken available for this scenario?
Is it just a coincidence, as many actual Libertarians might suggest when pressed, that the most libertarian metropolitan areas in the United States just happen to have among the highest crime rates? There is a reason New York and Chicago are at the top of Reason's shit list, and that is so ordinary people like you and I can drive out to the Windy City for a Cubs game and not have to worry about our personal safety. Without that, you have chaos. I have not idea how the Libertarians think law and order are to be maintained when there are no laws to enforce, but I sure don't want to live anywhere where everybody's packing heat, have probably had a few, are ready to carjack your ride because they spent their rent money at the dog track, and have to put up with streetwalkers propositioning their kids on their way to school.
Bill Buckner
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July 13, 2008
Bill Buckner played first base for the Boston Red Sox in 1986. He is most notable for one play during the sixth game of the World Series of that year against the New York Mets in which all Boston was leading by two runs and only needed to get one...more...out in the bottom of the tenth inning to win their first Series since just before Babe Ruth was traded to the Yankees to pay for a flop Broadway show. Bostonians were so excited, they got their sleeping children out of bed to witness what looked like an historic moment.
It was historic, but not how they anticipated it that night. After letting two Mets score, Mookie Wilson of the Mets hits a grounder right to first base where it rolled, slowly, right between Buckner's legs. The winning run scores, the Mets go on to win Game Seven and the World Series, and another generation would pass before Boston won another Pennant.
Compare this with Sen. Obama's Bill Buckner move in the U.S. Senate this past week. Barack Obama is ahead in the polls by more than the margin of error (a feat no Democrat managed to accomplish since Bill Clinton in 1996), he's pwning John McCain in fundraising so bad he turned down public financing (and its restrictions), he's packing sports stadiums to standing room only for campaign rallies. But there's this FISA bill coming up with the retroactive immunity for the telecoms he says he's against. What does he do? He votes for it. No claiming he's soft on terrorism, right?
Now many of his fans are pissed. Hillary Clinton voted no, and John McCain, who supports telecom immunity, wasn't even in the Capitol. They're starting to withhold money and support, or that's what they're saying, and it looks like he just took his eyes off the ball, just like Bill Buckner did in the 1986 World Series. Folks are just not as into him anymore.
I'm asking myself why he was even in Washington if he was going to vote aye. John McCain wasn't around. Wasn't there a last-minute campaign meeting that needed attending that would have given him cover? It wouldn't have mattered if Obama was on the International Space Station; the bill would have passed anyway. There wasn't even enough support for the filibuster he promised. He would easily have been forgiven if the filibuster didn't happen, but to vote on the final bill when he didn't have to was just a bonehead play, pure and simple.
Purple Heart Bandaids, revisited
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July 13, 2008 I want to see them. Lots of them. All over Denver next month.
You know, if Sen. Kerry's record and medals and all that don't mean shit, neither does Sen. McCain's.
For what it's worth, if I were to walk into a VFW and suggest to some random guy that his Purple Heart was probably unearned, he'd most likely want to knock my teeth down my throat. Sen. Kerry, on the other hand, mostly sat there and took it. If he had asked, say, T. Boone Pickens, what would happen if he were to suggest to anyone else that he didn't earn his medals, just once, and end it with something like, "get back to me on that when you finish picking up your teeth," we wouldn't have had to put up with four years of Super Term-Limited Bush. Think about that next time you see Mr. Pickens on your teevee talking about how he has awl thuh ansers 'bout ahr enurgy futcher.
More about this in the next installment of my book - People Are Cowards - whenever I get around to writing it.
Nice to be un-fubared
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July 11, 2008 Seems somebody got into my site and posted a whole bunch of Javascript nonsense into my index.html page which prevented the main page from displaying. It was also in my template, which caused the crap to reappear after it was fixed as soon as I changed something in the display preferences. Anyway, I figured it out, and now I'm back in business.
Will they eulogize George Carlin for a whole week?
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June 23, 2008
I liked Carlin a lot more than I liked Tim Russert. A LOT more. I also happen to think he was way, way less full of shit than Timmeh was.
His later standup shows were progressively crankier, more bitter, and chock full of vitriol. I loved them all, and I will miss George Carlin a lot.
Now for one of my favorite Carlin bits....
When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshiat story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy shit!
But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago.
Obama and public money - we don't care.
Average rating: 3
June 19, 2008 This is directed at the talking heads, some of whom are now on Hardball talking about Obama eschewing public funding as I am typing this.
WE DON'T CARE.
Seriously. The idea that John McCain can lecture Democrats about campaign finance given his flip-flopping on this very same issue is ridiculous. Fuck him, and fuck Tweety for bringing it up just now.
June 19, 2008 A couple of years ago, I got a whole bunch of maple scrap to burn in our wood stove as firewood. Since a bunch of the pieces were too wide to fit, I had to get an axe and split some of it. Fortunately for me, maple splits quite nicely without expending much effort.
Now they're making baseball bats out of the stuff. Bad idea, and I would have hoped that Major League Baseball would have put the kibosh on it the day the first one was delivered. Bats are traditionally made from ash, which splinters and splits, but rarely shatters into sharp missiles like maple. It burns really hot in my wood stove, but it makes for a rather disposable baseball bat that poses a significant safety hazard.
According to Sports Illustrated, it is not as simple as issuing a ban from the Commissioner's office. Apparently, the Commissioner of Baseball requires the permission of the player's union to do that. WHY? Just what is Bud Selig's job, anyway? If I were the commissioner, I'd say simply that maple bats are banned forthwith, and if the players don't like it, they can just go on strike for all I care. I'm sure there are lots and lots of AAA and AA players who would love to swing a bat in the Show, even as a sub.
Start your own whisper campaign.
Average rating: 0
June 19, 2008 Here's what you do. Start dropping hints on the blogs you visit, and hope they catch fire. Here's mine: Cindy McCain == Maris Crane. It's an apt description, if you ask me. I mean, look at her. The clothes, the obvious plastic surgery. The whole "I'm better than you" air about her. We didn't get to see Maris on television, but when I see Mrs. McCain, I have to figure that's what Maris would have looked like.
Box scores are intellectual property - MLB
Average rating: 1.5
June 5, 2008 No they're not. - US Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals.
So I can talk all I want about last night's Cubs-Padres game (the Cubs lost in the bottom of the ninth inning, 2-1, on a sacrifice fly), and not be guilty of copyright infringement.
Support THESE troops?
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June 2, 2008 On my Fort Drum trip, I noticed that the trend among "some people" is to take a midsize or larger domestic family sedan and put the biggest rims on it that will fit. No other 'pimping,' just big rims. While this just looks stupid, that's not what pisses me off. How about a Chevy Suburban with big rims, low-profile slick tires, and a couple hundred pounds of (busted up) fiberglass ground effects and assorted bling.
Behold the truck that is no longer useful as a truck. It's just a means of wasting oceans of gasoline to make a personal 'fashion' statement. It screams, "look at ME! Over HERE! My kids wear clothes from the Salvation Army and eat store-brand macaroni and cheese with Spam four nights a week so I can drive this to work!...Oh, and my penis is really, really tiny."
I want to scream, "I hope gas goes to ten bucks and stays there," when I see something like that. I'm supposed to support these troops? Are you kidding? Forget the soccer mom with the yellow-ribbon magnet on her oversized SUV. Forget the urban cowboy who needs a Hummer H2 for whatever he does on weekends (mainly wash and wax his truck). These people will cry and wail if you suggest that their support of "the troops" is anything less than absolute, yet have any of them seen what some of "the troops" are driving? The old stereotype of a platoon sergeant was Sergeant Snorkel from Beetle Bailey. Now it's a big-ass truck modified so that is loses any utility it might have had as a truck in the first place. Meet your new boss, private, and stand at parade rest while you bask in his glory.
Now, before any of you send your buddies from Free Republic over to spam the comments folder with the usual garbage, I did make another observation on my weekend at the home of the 10th Mountain Division. Seven or eight years ago, one could go to the main PX and see the parking lot filled about 2/3 with SUVs and large pickups of various kinds. Gas was $1.30 a gallon back then, and it just wasn't an issue with anyone other than dirty hippies like me. Nowadays, you see a lot more small cars, more than most places outside the gate. Military paychecks really don't lend themselves to a lifestyle that involves burning up a lot of $4 gas, and most of "the troops" do consider this when buying cars. I think turnover in military personnel accelerates this trend, and I predict that we'll see something like half the cars on the road being Honda Civic sized vehicles or smaller by about 2012. Meanwhile, those who own large SUVs are pretty much stuck with them. Have you seen the resale value of a typical SUV lately? Not a pretty sight.
Hypermiling for dummies.
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June 2, 2008 You need a standard-shift car for this. Here are my driving rules:
1. Find the sweet spot for your car and drive at that speed unless the posted speed limit won't let you. For my car, that's about 53 MPH. What I did was observe the tachometer and made a mental table of speed versus engine revolutions. 53 miles per hour seemed optimal; it's where the needle starts to jump to progressively higher RPM.
2. Coast to stop lights/signs. As soon as you see the red light, there is no sense in keeping your foot on the gas, so hit the clutch and coast to the light.
3. Coast on downhill runs. I live near the top of a hill, so I give the car a gentle push with the gas, then hit the clutch until I get to the bottom of the hill, recovering the energy I spent getting up the hill the night before. That's about half a mile running at idle, and I typically reach 40 MPH about halfway down.
4. Coast on off-ramps. You gotta slow down anyway, so you might as well let aerodynamic drag and friction do most of it. Some hypermilers will do really stupid things like taking 35 MPH curves at 55. That's just stupid, and it wastes tire tread.
5. Avoid accelerating on uphill runs. Get whatever speed you're going to get before you reach the hill, and hold that speed until you get to the top. I used to bitch about old guys driving Buicks doing this, but not anymore.
6. Coast in parking lots. Some hypermilers will cut the engine in parking lots, but this will also cut your power brakes and power steering, and could cause you to hit other parked cars. Do not do this. Just idle to your parking space and THEN cut the engine.
I did an experiment this past weekend. I had to go to Fort Drum to paint my wife's car - military auto craft shops have everything, including paint booths with big honking ventilation systems - and that involved keeping the car overnight while we stayed at the base hotel. Anyway, on the round trip, I managed 42 MPG (about 208 miles on 4.9 gallons). The EPA highway estimate for my car (2005 Scion xA) is 37.
So, what about the other drivers? I don't get many complaints. Not really. Seems everybody's slowing down lately. It's a good thing. It's even easier on your machine that you spend all that money on.
I can't believe these vanity plates are still available, vol. 3
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May 28, 2008 I do this from time to time, check out the NYS DMV's website for vanity plates that have not been taken, and post the best ones here. So here's some that I thought were exceptionally cool.
Beware John McCain's running mate
Average rating: 3
May 22, 2008
You heard it here first. It should be well-known by now that the Republicans like to put unsavory and otherwise unelectable characters in the #2 slot on their national ticket, hoping voters will follow the usual practice of not giving a damn about who the candidate for Vice President is. I would kind of hope that after the past eight years, though, it would take on a greater than usual importance, especially given Sen. John McCain's advanced age and history of medical problems.
This is an opportunity for the Republicans to sneak in a "stealth" Presidential candidate, one that not even the rank and file among their own party would normally accept, and certainly not someone the voting public at large would choose as the leader of the so-called 'free' world.
So what's up with John McCain? Well, we know about the following:
1. Survived three plane crashes. I guess some would say calling him "Wrong-Way McCain" would still be inappropriate, especially in the light of the fact he also...
2. Survived five years in the Hanoi Hilton as a direct result of #1 above. Still, it would be inappropriate to ask questions or make suggestions about the possibility he still suffers from PTSD.
3. Four instances of melanoma, which is what happens when the pale and pasty go out in the sun. Arizona has a surplus of sun, so I guess that also would apply to looking out the window, especially for those with the sort of china-doll complexion Sen. McCain has.
4. Other age-related health problems not noted in his medical file, or not disclosed to the public. Such as his propensity toward "senior moments," for which he has Sen. Lieberman at his side to keep him straight.
So we can assign a fairly high probability that, should John McCain get elected President, he might not live to serve out his full term of office. This makes his selection of the #2 guy much more critical and worthy of scrutiny than would otherwise be the case. I mean, people made fun of Dan Quayle, but most never worried for a minute that he might actually become President (thank God). Even now, Bush 41 is quite healthy (for all we know) for a man who served in World War Two.
So who will it be? Mike Huckabee, whose ascension to the Oval Office would cause widespread jubilation among those who believe the world is 6000 years old, that a 500 year old man was able to capture two of each kind of animal (even the dangerous ones) and keep them on a boat for 40 days and nights without them eating him or each other, and that the Rapture is close at hand, and could happen sooner if the right man becomes President, would be an all too obvious choice. Be prepared to deal with the professional "Christian" whiners complaining about persecution if that happens.
Mitt Romney? Well, he did valiantly stop spending his sons' inheritance on his failed bid in order to make life easier on John McCain. No Hillary Clinton is he. People often mistake Mitt for someone competent, so I guess I ought to be worried, but the problems certain people have with his choice of religious faith, his home state, and the fact that he's just an incredible douchebag, haven't gone away.
Condoleeza Rice? Are you kidding? How can the GOP successfully appeal to the latent racism of large swaths of the voting public if they put a "me too" candidate, especially one who makes Dan Quayle look competent, on the ticket.
Joe Lieberman? No way. It would simply be too funny. Jon Stewart's writers have an easy enough time with George W. Bush writing their jokes for them. Besides, not only does the man just scream "Manchurian candidate," but he'd energize the Democrats like no one else can.
I'm all out of ideas, so I'll place my bet on Huckabee. God help us if people fall for it.
The Limbaugh effect
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May 7, 2008 It either does not exist, or it was just enough to keep CBS from losing face by calling Indiana early for Sen. Clinton. Or, Sen. Obama is a much stronger candidate than anyone anticipated, having very nearly offset the efforts of throngs of dittoheads to deliver a decisive victory to Sen. Clinton.
We may never know the truth, but here's MSNBC's analysis.
You've already seen this picture more times than you've seen the Mona Lisa in your lifetime:
So is it art, or is is pr0n? I vote for art. This is classy; pr0n is usually crass.
Seriously, compared to what we might typically see at any American middle school (which I will leave to your lurid imagination), this is mild. The only reason it’s a big deal at all is because we know Miley Cyrus is 15 years old, that she works for the Mouse, and that this picture is anathema to her work for the Mouse.
So her career with the Mouse is (probably) over. So what? Did she expect to work for the Mouse forever? Did she expect to still be playing Hannah Montana when she’s a grandmother? I mean, only Kelsey Grammer gets to succeed playing the same character for a quarter century, but I digress.
The good news is, if this is judged to be the big deal some people claim it is, the Mouse won't be able to milk the Hannah Montana cash cow for merchandising anymore like they do everything else. Anything that means we get to see less of the Mouse's relentless marketing machine is a good thing. The other good thing for Ms. Cyrus is that she probably won't get stigmatized by her association with the Mouse and therefore stands a reasonable chance at a successful film or television career a few short years from now when she's too old to continue playing twelve year olds.
A few years from now, we’ll all be wondering what the big deal was. It’s clear the photograph was art, and damn good art at that, IMO. It’s classier than the Demi Moore cover by a long shot, and it’s in a whole different league from anything Britney Spears, with whom Ms. Cyrus is being compared so gleefully on CNN, has done. I wouldn't be surprised if this was all calculated from the start, to make a clean break from it, to say, "I'm not going to be another one of those washed-up child actresses we only get to see on VH1 when there's nothing else on TV." From what I hear, the girl's got a lot going for her. She's not creepy like Christina Ricci, she's not a dumb blonde (she just plays one on TV) like Drew Barrymore or Reese Witherspoon, and I doubt she's the Jodie Foster type. She's probably classier than that, and if she has any talent at all, she stands a decent chance of beating the odds against former Mouse employees having a successful grown-up career. I look forward to seeing her in a real movie in a few years.
Credit people should kiss MY ass, not the other way around.
Average rating: 1.5
April 28, 2008 It's like this. I have paid my bills on time religiously since 1982. I have a squeaky-clean driving record. I have had the same auto insurance company since 1986. I owe ZERO on my credit cards. I do not have a HELOC or any other ridiculous debt bomb hanging over my house, in which I have lived since 1999. Until I had the brilliant idea of paying off my auto loan early, I had money in the bank. Why, then, do I need to do tricks to maintain a high FICO score? Wouldn't you think my FICO score would take care of itself, as it has for a quarter century?
Furthermore, if I already have a (smaller than average) mortgage, two decent cars, and money in the bank, why do I need to worry about my credit? Because Suze Orman says so? because a bunch of goofs posting at The Consumerist say so? I am tempted to conduct an experiment. I think there isn't a whole lot I can do to fuck up my credit unless I actually go into debt.
For example, some people think it's a bad idea to cancel unused credit cards. That was bad when I went to apply for my mortgage; our credit union rep advised me to cancel them. Long-term card use? What difference does it make if I keep my six year old Capital One account open, or if I close it because I want to get a different card with another bank, who has no problem kissing my ass by offering me a free toaster, free frequent flier miles, a rebate on my next new car (as long as it's a Chevy) or some other reward for switching?
Case in point: When I had a balance I was paying down, I would get offers in the mail from rival banks where I would transfer my balance to one of their cards for a ridiculously low (or zero) interest rate for a year or so. I would jump from card to card for years as my balance got lower and lower, except for the time I needed a new lawn tractor, and only John Deere would do. I probably saved at least a grand in interest over the years. My credit score? At least 815.
So in light of my considerable credit "resume," I think the credit companies and credit bureaus ought to be kissing MY ass, not the other way around. Tricks are for trained poodles. I want somebody to offer me a 4 percent fixed mortgage with no closing costs, no up-front fees, and no BS. I'm about as good as it gets as far as credit risk is concerned. Call me, and I'll tell you exactly how I like my ass kissed.
It occurred to me that if John Kerry didn't actually earn his medals, you know, the Bronze Star and Silver Star and the three Purple Hearts, then how do we know John McCain's account of his experience at the Hanoi Hilton wasn't either grossly exaggerated or wholly fabricated?
April 16, 2008
I mean, holy fucking shit. The first 45 minutes of the ABC debate between Clinton and Obama were all about the he said/she said bullshit from the past couple of weeks. Rev. Wright, imaginary snipers in Bosnia, flag pins, and a couple of new items of pure bullshit I haven't heard of yet. Thanks, Charles Gibson for bringing those to my attention. Fuck you very motherfucking much.
I didn't expect the Lincoln/Douglas debates. This is, after all, ABC. I did not, however, expect Charles Gibson and George Stephanopolis to burn 45 minutes before they got around to talking about issues. If anyone was wondering what a Fox News Democratic debate would look like, this would be it.
So here is a glimpse of how it went:
CG: Senator Obama, people who talk to us wonder why is it that you insist on/refuse to wear a flag lapel pin/pick another church/raising taxes/pissing on the Alamo/etc./other/whatever. Why is that?
BHO: This is really a BS non-issue. When are we going to talk about Iraq/the economy/health care/the deficit/etc./other/whatever?
HRC: Well, I think this is a very important issue because it involves Senator Obama and not me.
CG: OK, Senator Clinton, what about...
HRC: This is exactly the sort of gotcha question one might expect from the likes of Bill O'Reilly and it has no place in this debate.
OK, so I made up that part about Bill O'Reilly. The point is, this was a bullshit exercise, Obama was fucking awesome because he called Gibson on it - more than once - and the end result of all of this is that people will probably have changed the channel sometime prior to the 45 minute mark so they could watch reruns of Futurama on Comedy Central, which sure looked like a far more productive use of their time.
If I were Senator Obama, I would have told Charles Gibson right off, "look, if you're not going to ask me about something that's actually important, something that actually affects most Americans, I'm out of here. You can talk about BS with Senator Clinton for the other hour and a half if you want, but not with me.
Oh crap. Now they're talking about "electability" (9:47 PM). Haven't we had enough of this? Didn't we pick the "electable" candidate last time? How did that work out? Can we call President Kerry on the phone and ask him? I suppose the silver lining in all of this is that we're less concerned about "electability" and voting for who we would rather have as President. I just wish we Democrats would make up our fucking minds one day really motherfucking soon. This is getting on my last nerve.
Absolut Vodka absolutely sucks.
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April 8, 2008
You've probably seen this by now:
This is kinda fucked up, if you ask me. What if an American company, say Maker's Mark, decided it would be a really cool idea to run an ad in Germany consisting of the pre-1919 German map (or even better, the 1939 post-Anschluss one) with a caption something along the lines of, "things were better back then." They wouldn't be able to sell another bottle of booze in the whole EU.
So fuck Absolut's bullshit non-apology. I don't know what I want them to do, so let me just continue my long-standing botcott of their product on the basis of it being overpriced. Smirnoff and tonic is a very nice drink. Here's my recipe:
2 oz Smirnoff vodka
4 oz Schweppes or Canada Dry tonic
slice of lime
Serve in an old-fashioned glass and sip while sitting in a lounge chair on the patio.
For those of you who have never been over there, it's a blog devoted to consumer advocacy and personal finance, except the people occasionally like to trash talk. I haven't looked at the comments for my piece yet, but I would guess a few of them are of the order of, "you mean you read Consumerist and you still use autopay to pay your cell phone bill?" Ok, so I was a bit of a dumbass and actually trusted companies like The New AT&T to do the right thing. You know what? You shouldn't have to watch these people like a hawk 24/7. That's the whole point. You sign up, you get your phone, you pay your bill every month. When your contract is up and you want to cancel, you ought to be able to do that as cleanly and as painlessly as when you originally signed up. There is no excuse for what AT&T did with me (see main article a couple of posts down).
FWIW, I did get my $160 just this past Friday. I no longer have a business relationship with AT&T, and that makes me so happy.
How do you make a mistake about taking incoming fire?
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March 25, 2008 Gee, I thought it was incoming fire. I remember it like it happened yesterday. Oh, that's right. Bill had bean burritos for lunch on Air Force One that day. Washed it down with Busch Lite. That must have been it.
The New A T & T sucks the big one.
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March 20, 2008
Here we go again.
I canceled my wireless service with The New AT&T (the old Cingular Wireless) last September when my contract expired. Since I has automatic bill pay, they took their sweet-ass time stopping the auto-pay part of the deal, which I noticed when going through my credit card statement. I called them, sounding quite irate, and asked them rather bluntly why they were still billing me after my account has been closed at my request. I was informed by the guy on the other end, who could have been the technician in the health clinic from the movie Idiocracy, that my number didn't work anymore, and he was having trouble bringing up my account. I said, "duh, Einstein, it doesn't work because the account is closed. My problem is that you're still billing me every month for a service I no longer need or use."
Suddenly, this brilliant rocket scientist managed to bring up my closed account, stop the automatic bill pay, and ask me if there was anything else I wanted. "How about a credit for the erroneous billing since September?" I asked. They were just going to pocket my money if I didn't explicitly ask for it, so I was getting really, really upset. I got back something like, "oh, yeah. I can do that. (click click click) There you are." He then connected me with another rep, this time a woman who reassuringly sounded like she had at least an average IQ, who started a "case" where I would eventually get my money back - $160.
Two months pass. It is now March, and I get the second of two monthly statements showing the $160 credit balance and no other action on my account. I call them again, and I am informed that since the final bill had not yet been generated when the "case" was submitted, it was denied. Some computer system they have over at The New AT&T. It reminds me of last year when it was Time-Warner Cable who neglected to stop billing me for two months after I canceled their service, which took six months before I got my refund check.
I guess the moral of the story is, never, EVER sign up for automatic payments on ANYTHING. You will have no end of aggravation at the end of your relationship with these companies, who will forget to stop billing you, sit on your money, hire morons as customer service reps, and cause you to expend more time and effort than you'd expend making the same amount of money at your job to get your money back in your hand. It was far less trouble back in the Stone Age just to write checks and send them out via snail mail. At least when I had to fire one of these people in the old days, they could send out all the bills they want, but they wouldn't get another dime out of me.
Was the war worth it? It depends on who you ask.
Average rating: 3
March 19, 2008 It was worth it to George Bush. It was worth it to Dick Cheney. It was worth it to the executives at Halliburton, Bechtel, and any number of other representatives of the military-industrial complex who have raked it in over the past five years. It was definitely worth it to Exxon-Mobil, who have benefited from skyrocketing oil prices owing in at least some part to the continued turmoil in the Middle East. To all those people it was well worth four thousand dead and several times that many incapacitated soldiers, who were among the best and most expensively trained in the world.
After all, to sociopaths like Dick Cheney, soldiers are just pawns, ciphers, lines on an inventory sheet just like any other piece of military equipment. They don't matter; remember that next time you or one of your offspring decide to pay a visit to the friendly neighborhood military recruiter's office.
Money doesn't even matter, at least not taxpayers' money, which the Bush people so gleefully pointed out was our money when it suited their purposes. Now it's other people's money - a means to an end, and they'll print more of it if they have to. A lot more. So much more that the dollar is now only worth about 63 euro cents. People are starting to point out that the money spent on Iraq could have been spent on education, health care, transportation, or any number of other things right here in America, but that's not entirely true. We never had this money to begin with. The only thing we could do with it is not spend it, and perhaps come close to balancing the budget. Maybe.
But do these things matter? Hell no. What matters is power. That's all. The country could do to Hell in a handbasket and become a Third World banana republic, gas could go to $20 a gallon, grass and weeds could sprout in the cracks on Wall Street, the Cubs could win the World Series by forfeit, and global warming could make Nebraska look like the Sahara Desert, and it wouldn't matter one single bit to the Bushies, as long as they got to keep their power. I can't possibly think of another group of Americans who give less of a flying fuck about America than the ones currently occupying the White House in 2008. God help us and keep us safe for just one more year. Please.
So yes, according to President Bush, the costs of the war in Iraq were all worth it. He can say it with a straight face because he believes it with all his heart and because from his perspective, it is the truth.
Next thing you know, people will start stealing my firewood, partido dos
Average rating: 3
March 6th, 2008
UPDATE 2 (3/17) - How much worse can it get? Diesel is now $4.25/gal., which would make my next delivery of heating oil $3.75/gal. at the least. I'm considering telling the oil people to cut me loose for the season and come back in September, but by then they might not even have any more heating oil the way things are going. I have just under 3/4 of a tank now, which ought to do me until the end of the heating season in May.
UPDATE: It's getting worse. I've seen diesel at $4/gal., which means heating oil is probably even higher than the $3.50 I predicted two months ago. Good thing it's almost spring, and I won't need much more this season. We've been good this year, and we're tracking pretty much on target with the predictions I made in January.
In spite of reasonably mild winter weather, the price of heating oil continues to rise. I expect to pay $3.50 a gallon the next time the oil truck comes to our house.
In spite of the moderate weather, our wood stove, 62 degree thermostat settings, more aggressive weatherproofing, and shutting off two rooms of our house, we just paid $500 for the first refill of the season a couple of weeks ago. Most households get monthly refills, but we get by with bimonthly resupply because we really do try to use less. So this is what this winter will probably look like:
January $500 for 158 gallons @ $3.15 (oil at $80/bbl.)
March $630 for 180 gallons @ $3.50 (oil at $100/bbl.)
May $350 for 100 gallons @ $3.50 (I don't see it going higher after the first day of spring.)
Total $1480 for 438 gallons, and that's supposed to be a good thing.
That's a lot of jack to shell out to still have to wear sweaters indoors, but it's considerably less than the estimated $2,078 average for New York State, which is probably quite a bit higher the further west and north from Albany you happen to live. I can only imagine how low-income people are coping with $3.50 heating oil. It's gotta suck.
So thanks a lot, George, for causing all this with your stupid-assed war in Iraq. Fuck you very, very much.
Fuck the Democratic Unity Ticket
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March 16, 2008 One again, that is what I get for having opinions. Shit changes, and my opinions change without my having done a damn thing. So fuck the Democratic Unity Ticket I was talking about earlier. Why? Well, let's have Keith Olbermann do the talking:
So there you have it. I will no longer settle for Sen. Clinton as the 44th President. If by some miracle (or a coup by the superdelegates) she manages to get herself nominated, I will stay home on Election Day. That's it. I'm done with her.
Tomorrow's headlines today
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March 6, 2008
Something tells me Republicans would be singing a very different tune if these were tomorrow's headlines:
PRESIDENT CLINTON PUSHES FOR TELECOM IMMUNITY
PRESIDENT CLINTON WANTS $80 BILLION FOR IRAQ
PRESIDENT OBAMA PROMOTES EXTENSION OF PATRIOT ACT IN SPEECH
PRESIDENT OBAMA CRITICIZES CONGRESS FOR INACTION ON NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND
PRESIDENT CLINTON DEFENDS GITMO INTERROGATION METHODS
PRESIDENT OBAMA PRESSES SENATE ON CONFIRMATION OF PARTISAN SUPREME COURT NOMINEE
PRESIDENT CLINTON CLAIMS IRAN NUKES AT STATE OF THE UNION
I could go on all day, but just once, I'd like to see a lefty 527 air a 30-second ad pointing this out when some wingnut group accuses Congress of endangering America by not asking, "how high, sir?" when Bush says, "jump."
The Democratic Unity Ticket
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March 6, 2008
Sen. Clinton was asked the question Wednesday morning, and she said, "That may be where this is headed, but of course we have to decide who is on the top of ticket. I think the people of Ohio very clearly said that it should be me." I might agree with that, but for a quite different reason.
The main reason I would favor Clinton/Obama over Obama/Clinton is that the former is a sixteen year ticket, but the latter might only hold for eight. Sen. Clinton is 60 years old, and Sen. Obama is 46. Eight years from now, a Vice President Hillary Clinton will be 68 years old - John McCain and Ronald Reagan territory - while a Vice President Obama will only be 54, with lots of tread left on the tires, eight years in the number two chair and a clear path to victory. Given that Sen. Clinton is highly competent in the game of politics and would probably do a much better than average job as President, there would be no stopping Obama in 2016 barring some unforeseen catastrophe.
I'm an Obama guy, but this is something I could get behind. Not only is Sen. Clinton an expert politician and would probably make a good, competent President able to pull us out of the hole George W. Bush put us in, but Sen. Obama compliments Sen. Clinton to a large degree. They don't really compete with each other for votes; rather, they represent different constituencies that we need to agree with each other in order to win. So together, with either candidate at the top of the ticket, they would make one hell of a team. If they do it while they're more or less even, they both come out looking like winners.
While I admit it's premature and presumptuous to be talking about an Obama capitulation when he's still ahead 100+ delegates, I think this idea has merit, as long as some kind of deal is struck to keep Bill out of Obama's business. It sure beats spending $30 million a month beating each other's brains in for another three months. Sooner or later, people are going to be looking at them, then their checkbook, and saying, "no more. Not my money. Johnny needs new shoes/college tuition/braces/therapy/etc." It would be nice to save some of that ammo for John McCain instead if wasting it on each other.
The only thing that would bother me a little is the idea of declaring running mates before the convention. It tips our hand to the enemy. On the other hand, it would affect Sen. McCain's choice for a VP candidate in a possibly interesting way. If he were to be seen as taking the Obama factor into account when picking his running mate, for example, choosing someone polarizing like Condoleeza Rice, that could be seen as shameless pandering, yet one more thing to make McCain look phony as a three-dollar bill.
There are other advantages to the "Democratic Unity Ticket." It would render moot the noisemaking - which won't go away otherwise - about Obama's so-called "pledge" to neuter himself by accepting the public financing McCain once felt compelled to accept. While McCain may still be legally bound by his decision, Hillary Clinton never said one word about public financing, never needed it, and never will. Clinton/Obama '08 could feel free to use their considerable combined resources to pound the living crap out of John McBush to their hearts' content, and there would be nothing Fox Noise could have Sean Hannity say about it except, "that sure was clever of the Democrats to put their magic rings together like that."
It would also have the effect of rendering the controversy over Michigan and Florida moot. Clinton/Obama neatly cancels this problem over whether to seat their delegates at the convention. One less problem is always good. I'd still like to see the next DNC take national control over its national nomination processes, which means a closed one-day national primary that mirrors the Electoral College, but that's a topic for another day. Right now, I want to win.
UPDATE (3/17) - Apparently, any efforts by dittoheads to influence the results of primaries since the beginning of March have been offset by actual Democrats (as opposed to "Democrat For A Day" voters) voting for Obama (a little help with attribution, please?). Seems an endorsement from Pigboy has unintended consequences, and he whose talent was on loan from God should have kept his maw shut.
Brett Favre is retiring from the NFL
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March 4, 2008
What's he going to do now? Run for Congress as a Republican? Just what we need, another ex-jock in Washington showing his lack of brains or political acumen. Naah. I say he follows in the footsteps of his predecessors and enters the lucrative field of Useless Product Spokesperson.
Here's an informal poll. What useless "soak the aged" product will Brett Favre endorse in his dotage?
Boner pills (FDA approved)
Boner pills (other)
Old people's life insurance
Nutra-system
Life Alert
Timeshares
Reverse mortgages
Other (specify)
I'm waiting, as usual, for the crickets to chirp and the usual respondent to make his unanimous choice.
July 17, 2008
July 13, 2008
July 13, 2008
May 7, 2008
April 28, 2008
March 25, 2008
March 19, 2008